One of my favorite self-help books is The 5 Love Languages. I recommend it to clients, family, friends, strangers…anyone I come into contact with. Why? Because The 5 Love Languages is easy to read and helps us each learn how we best receive love and if read with a partner, helps us learn how our partner best receives love. As a therapist I’ve learned quite a bit about relationships and have seen what tears them apart. And the first advice I’d offer is to learn more about your love language, whether or not you are currently in a relationship.
I highly recommend reading the book for a more in-depth description of each love language, but I’ll give you a brief run-down.
Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
If this is your primary love language, you feel most loved when you receive compliments of praise from your significant other. You like to be complimented and encouraged.
Love Language #2: Quality Time
If this is your primary love language, you feel most loved when your partner spends time with you, focuses on you, or focuses on things that interest you. It can be as simple as chatting over a meal together, having your significant other sign-up to attend your usual yoga class, or even planning a weekend couple’s excursions.
Love Language #3: Gifts
This love language is more than simply wanting gifts. If this is your primary love language, you feel most loved when your partner gives you a gift that is thoughtful and meaningful.
Love Language #4: Acts of Service
If your significant other empties the dishwasher, do you consider it foreplay? If so, this is your love language. If this is truly your love language, you feel most loved when others take care of you by taking care of your responsibilities.
Love Language #5: Physical Touch
Finally, we come to the last love language. Despite what you might immediately assume, physical touch is about much more than sex. If this is your love language, you feel most loved when hugged, kissed, patted, snuggled with, etc… For you, the sensation of touch conveys positive regard and validation.
If you’d like to find out your love language, you can take an online quiz here. Here’s to self-awareness!